In praise of the wire coat-hanger

The wire coat-hanger in its simplicity is beautiful to see
I think you may agree…

Wire hangers are utilitarian, too, for a bloke hanging a shirt
Or if you are a sheila, a blouse or a skirt
Out of sight, tidy as can be, a wire hanger persists in all its variations, has no peer
And, in this little poem, I set forth some of those attributes right here

Thus …
In my youth they were used as substitutes for vandalised car aerials
Bent into the multifarious shapes; tear-drop, heart or double-helix like variables

The radio reception was improved for those tinny push-button radio transistors
With customised antennae with their tiger-tailed wind-resisters
Listening to 2SM and 2UW were the only places to be sh…sh …shaggin’
In the back seat with the doilies in the two-toned Holden station-wagon

Those wire coat-hangers were the best tool by far
Necessary implements for breaking into … the family car;
If getting into a locked car was your ambition
Having left the keys dangling nakedly in the ignition

The press-pin lever thingy was frustratingly visible
But the very handy coat-hanger-wire-skill was there to make it accessible
Unless you were a professional
Who probably wouldn’t even use a coat-hanger
Unless they were a desperate amateur or a head-banger

For example …
NRMA mechanics had a tool they pulled out cock-like and shoved in very quick
The car door opened before your eyes but your brain was uncertain of the trick

Perhaps the world was still young, Virgin Airlines far off in a future to be created
We didn’t know then that specialised products would be so proliferated ….

S.. S.. S.. So where would we have been without the humble coat-hanger ?
Where would we have hung the Dulux when we were up the ladder?
The bird-cage would be on the floor rather than out of reach from that pussy cat
The oil-based paint would never have got stirred properly in the vat

The sculpture armature wouldn’t exist, I think,
That dead possum in the water tank would continue to persist and stink
The ‘spur-of-the-moment’ fishing net would never have been attempted
The ‘blue swimmer crab catcher’ would never have been invented

A muffler hanging by a thread …
I don’t think anything more needs to be said …
So let’s remember with respect the humble hanger
Let’s not forget when life was so much simpler

So next time you take one out of the robe
Don’t take it for granted – say a prayer and thank the dear lord
For the wire coat-hanger He or She or It MUST have been the creator
It is too holy and too clever for human-kind to be the inventor

April 2019